John Laird: A Victim of Malaplexia?

By Professor Robert Dean

http://wobsy.wordpress.com/2012/03/07/malapropisms/

People read his weekly column and think he’s just an idiot and dismiss him out of hand. But, what most people don’t realize is that he has a lifelong learning disability called Malaplexia.

Malaplexia is a rare condition that causes those suffering under it to always use the wrong word; even though they don’t mean to. For instance, try as he might, John will always use the word “coalition” to describe the self-interested CRC boosters when he means “cabal.” “Snakes” comes out as “stakeholders.” He tries to write “elites” but all he gets is “alliances.”

And don’t question his motives, either. You might think he is pandering to his boss, Scott Campbell, and responding to the call to “raise the decibels.” In fact, he is secretly screwing his boss and the Newspaper by spiking his retirement; working overtime.

As you say, John will retire soon. I can’t imagine he’ll get much true love at his send-off. Maybe, Clark County Conservative could pitch in and buy him a leather-bound and embossed thesaurus – give a little speech and explain to him that it’s not an extinct reptile.

CRC Supporters Scurrying Like Cockroaches

This past Sunday, April 3, 2013 saw yet another insulting editorial written by soon to be retiring Columbian Editorial Page Editor, John Laird: We should all live as long as the Third Bridge Cockroach.

Laird, a strong supporter of the Columbia River Crossing has now added “cockroach” to his repertoire of derogatory titles assigned to taxpayers that dare actually look behind the shroud of secrecy long enveloping the CRC and stand against it.

BANANA (Build Absolutely Nothing Anywhere Near Anything), Ankle Biters, Hounds of Whinerville, NIMBY (Not In My Back Yard), CAVE (Citizens Against Virtually Everything) and now Cockroaches to describe those who they also want to buy their newspaper.

Columbian Newsroom: Meeting of the Mavens

Satire by Professor Robert Dean

Photo by Troy Wayrynen http://www.columbian.com/news/2010/feb/05/columbian-out-bankruptcy/

Lou Brancaccio: Heads up! Gather round! Staff meeting, meeting of the Mavens!

Mayor Leavitt Takes Stand Against Private Sector Job Growth

Again we see so-called leaders of the city of Vancouver, Washington turning a blind eye to the plight of citizens not only in the city, but in nearby communities and the rest of the state as Vancouver’s Mayor, ‘Teflon’ Tim ‘the Liar’ Leavitt stood with enviro-wacko’s, speaking against the proposed coal export terminals being planned that will ship coal to Asia, providing much needed jobs to our state and even benefit the citizens he claims to represent.

Previously covered here, the terminals would accept coal shipped by rail and barge to be loaded onto ships and sold to countries in Asia that are building coal powered facilities to economically benefit regions in their countries that have until now been without electricity.

These countries will buy coal, if not America’s low sulfur coal, other countries coal with much higher concentrates of sulfur. But, they will buy the coal they desire.

The Columbian’s Hate Fest With the Electoral College

Seems once again, the responsibility of educating the college indoctrinated editorial board at the Columbian, the unofficial daily newsletter for the Democrat Party, falls on a regular High School Graduate. Every so often they seem to feel they are smarter than the framers of our constitution and founders of this great federal Republic, the United States of America. They are far from it.

The Columbian has a long history of hate towards the Electoral College system of selecting our President. It matters little to them that the system has worked just fine since its inception at the founding of our country, 4 times doing as designed to represent the will of the states and not the majority of people, the Columbian editorial board runs editorial after editorial bashing it, admitted to by editorial page editor John Laird as “one of my favorite crusades: bashing the Electoral College” in an October 12, 2008 editorial.

Who Is Really The ‘Puppet’ John?

The Columbian’s political page editor, John Laird, known for his acerbic and outlandish editorials every Sunday has shown he knows how to push the community’s buttons over the years. A staunch liberal apparently, he has shown himself to support and promote just about anything liberal Democrats desire. About the only time he has shown himself to be agreeable to a Republican or conservative point of view was when they crossed the aisle to adopt the Democrat point of view.

Like most liberals I have spoken to, his idea of “bipartisanship” or “Compromise” appears to be when conservatism is abandoned and liberalism embraced. It never seems to cross in the other direction in his editorials.

But I was somewhat taken aback to read his Sunday, March 3, 2012 editorial, ‘Puppet’ accusations don’t always hold up to scrutiny where he is defending Republican first term Representative Jaime Herrera Beutler (Wa. 03) against frequent allegations of her just being a “puppet.”

In the political sense, a puppet is “a person, group, government, etc., whose actions are prompted and controlled by another or others.” Many of Herrera Beutler’s actions do give that impression to conservatives. From her time in the Washington State House of Representatives where she co-sponsored and twice voted to approve a bill that would have forced child care centers into union to crossing the aisle to help Democrats raid the last $120 Million from the state “Rainy Day Fund,” claiming she did it to prevent further tax increase. Taxes increased anyways.

She has shown herself to be an “establishment Republican” more so than a conservative Republican. Hence, many label her a “puppet” doing the bidding of others to retain her “cushioned seat of authority” at $174,000 a year salary plus generous benefits.

Predicting John Laird’s Sunday, February 5, 2012 Editorial

I predict John’s Sunday editorial will be a slobbering approval of the Senate passing homosexual marriage and he will not even mention the $1.5 Billion budget gap still facing the state that has not been a priority.

UPDATE: I was wrong. Instead of slobbering all over himself for the homosexual marriage passing in the Senate, John decided to once again go on a rant and bash Sen. Don Benton, Republican of course over wanting to see English as our official language.

Oddly enough, Laird ends his rant with, “Other legislative priorities? Like balancing budgets, creating jobs and improving schools? Hey, this ain’t Buckaroo’s first rodeo. He leaves that stuff to the rookies.”

Isn’t that exactly what we have saying as the legislature has wasted nearly half of the session promoting homosexual marriage?

And to show what a sick perverted mind Laird has, he also pens, “And as a musician, I can keep a steady beat with ‘Oye como va,’ the Latin rock classic made popular by Santana. And when Patti LaBelle belts out ‘Lady Marmalade,’ I can slap a pretty good drawl on ‘voulez-vous coucher avec moi (ce soir)’?”

That last sentence translates to “would you sleep with me (tonight)?”

Of Good Friends and Frenemies

It looks like my ‘super buddy’ Lou Brancaccio at the Columbian has done it again. In calling for “no more cheap shots” and previous “warning” only my wife and I to “keep it constructive,” while ignoring “cheap shots” from others, ‘super buddy’ Lou pens his post election assessment of one candidate and one supporter in Before the election completely fades

In reality yet another slap against successful businessman David Madore, their favorite boogieman they frequently rail against and Josephine Wentzel who they thoroughly trashed throughout the campaign only to whine about when she broke off contact with them.

Lou offers them both and the rest of the community his ‘expert’ advice on how they should act, apparently according to his Book of Hoyle if they wish to campaign in Clark County again. Right off the bat we see him falling back on “Blame the messenger rather than the message” since Josephine had the audacity to call the paper on their very slanted coverage of city council candidates.

Apparently he never learned that if someone’s message is continually blocked, twisted, spun and demeaned at every step, the messenger does share a lot of blame for it not getting out. Of course, when you seek to maintain a monopoly on messaging in the community and control the dissemination of information, little things like bias are not so apparent to the biased ones pretending to be objective.

Damewood Answers Her Own Question, 8 Months Later

Not too surprisingly, the Columbian’s liberal bias was on full, bright display this election as their endorsed candidates did not include a single conservative. But even more glaring is seeing the sexist attacks launched on one woman, Josephine Wentzel.

Whether you like her or not is immaterial. She is a Hispanic woman who ran on her values and was thoroughly trashed every chance the Columbian got.

Leading the charge was Andrea Damewood, who seemed to take a little more delight than one would expect in digging out dirt irrelevant to the campaign and who seemed shocked when Wentzel, fed up with the ill-treatment, cut off responding to her and the paper.

Damewood, it should be remembered, penned an article just 8 months ago in March, ‘Why aren’t women running?’ political vets wonder

It Appears Those “Ankle Biting Hounds From Whinerville” Were Right

Oh those “Ankle biting hounds from Whinerville” as John Laird, the Columbian’s editorial page editor so eloquently described those who have spoken out in opposition of the Columbia River crossing project. They’ve been ridiculed, demeaned, shouted down, gaveled down, marginalized and mostly ignored. Speaking out against the CRC, especially the loot rail component of the project has been treated as blasphemy by supporters such as John Laird and others at the Columbian.

But they didn’t stop, they kept speaking out, writing letters, holding meetings, scheduling seminars inviting experts from all walks knowledgeable about such projects. Seeing that some $130 Million was spent with nothing to show for it, cronyism in people hired and paid quite handsomely for producing very little and questions continually ignored, Vancouver Businessman David Madore, at his expense, hired a forensic auditor to go through the mountains of documents finally given under a FOIA request.

It’s an old tactic to flood a ton of documents, many unrelated when trying to hide what is really there. The concept is the one seeking information will get bored with pouring over frivolous papers and either give up or miss what is right before their eyes.

It didn’t work.

John Laird: Befitting of the ‘Gargamel’ Comparison

In keeping with the Columbian’s light hearted poke at elected officials recently, comparing them to Muppet characters, I made a little comparison of my own in regards to the editors of the paper. Lou Brancaccio was compared to Count von Count and he got a kick out of it. I was unable to find a Muppet character that adequately depicts acerbic editorial page editor John Laird, though, and ended up seeing he was very much like the cartoon character Gargamel from the Smurf’s.

Beyond some physical resemblance, He displays the same attributes of being “the sworn enemy of the Smurfs and the principal antagonist,” except in our community, he is the sworn enemy and main antagonist of conservatives.

In fact, as far as I’m concerned, he displays everything that is wrong in our political landscape today, as can be seen in his Sunday, June 26, 2011 column, Food fights, hounds, science and more.

Also refreshing is seeing some liberals waking up to his bombastic blasting of conservatives, as did local Democratic Party activist Temple Lentz.

Temple rightfully points out that Laird is “personally insulting and debasing people who disagree with him.” He has a history of doing this, labeling those who disagree with him on bringing light rail from Portland to Vancouver as “ankle biting hounds from Whinerville” and such.

No Muppet Comparison for John Laird.

In keeping with the spirit shown by the Columbian in their comparison of Muppet characters for elected officials and a few others, Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s the Muppet show! I thought it only fair to see what Muppet Characters fit the Columbian’s editors.

First was editor Lou Brancaccio compared to Count Von Count, the good natured Count whose vampire attire hides the fact that he his bark is worse than his bite.

Of Brancaccio, Madore and Count Von Count Lou emailed me saying, “The Count. I love it! Have a great week!”

Next comes political editor John Laird with his Sunday column, C-W differences amplified in election where as usual, he took pot shots at conservatives and those of us opposed to how the Columbia River Crossing project is being handled and the desire to force loot rail on us.

I couldn’t find a Muppet that does John justice, though. But recalling other cartoon characters, found one that seems to fit well.

As said in both Lou’s column and my post, Who loves ya, John? Me! (And Gargamel)

Weeping Over Government Job Cuts, Ignoring Government Blocking Hundreds of Thousands of Private Sector jobs

Leave it to the Columbian’s bombastic liberal political editor to pine away over the job cuts in the government sector and not acknowledge that government continues to block and deny hundreds of thousands of shovel ready jobs itching to be created and put people back to work all across the nation.

But, that is just what John Laird has done with his Sunday, June 12, 2011 editorial Fist-bumps in anti-government crowd.

From his grossly out of context Reagan quote, “government is not the solution to our problem; government is the problem,” to his mischaracterization of conservatives as “anti-government” instead of what we really are, “limited-government,” Laird laments on government jobs being lost in this “Great Recession.” Even on his facebook page, he labels the editorial, “Reflections on the recent wave of cuts in government jobs,” ignoring millions of private sector jobs lost since the Great Repression began in 2007.

While Laird whines about government jobs lost, he completely ignores the ongoing efforts of that very government in blocking private sector jobs at the ready by the hundreds of thousands for several years. Jobs that not only are good paying, but that would spur supportive jobs while at the same time helping to end our reliance on foreign sources for our energy security.

Just Because the World Did Not End, It’s Not the End of the World

No doubt, a few people woke up feeling dejected and dismayed, realizing that predictions of gloom and doom and the world coming to an end made by 89 year-old preacher, Harold Camping did not happen. Why anybody took it serious escapes me as anybody with an even rudimentary knowledge of the Bible and Christianity knows that it says no one knows when that will happen, not even Jesus, only God.

Throughout the years there have been literally hundreds, if not more, end time predictions made and if you are reading this, none of them came true. To me, it shows that there are some, declaring themselves devout Christians, who end up, unwittingly, placing more faith in the words of a fellow man and not God’s word.

But, my intent here is not to point out shortcomings in people’s faith or the Church. Someone’s religious beliefs are very personal and even if they are what I would describe as “fringe,” they are their beliefs. What does bear pointing out is the reaction of some non-believers, atheists on the left, human secularists or whatever you wish to call them. Knowing full well that the majority of believers did not fall for Camping’s nonsense, this is ignored so they can take a slap at all Christians.

As I suspected was going to happen, John Laird of the Columbian, even toned down from his more usual ‘I hate any and everything Republican’ rhetoric, made his Sunday column about the latest end of the world failure with his column, How did Judgment Day go for you?

John Laird’s Hatchet Job Against Conservatives Continues

As anyone within the region served by Clark Counties newspaper of record knows, the Columbian is as “unbiased” as they can be. Or so they claim. In spite of example after example of the contrary being shown, editor Lou Brancaccio can be expected every few weeks or so to pen a column boasting of their “unbiased” claims.

From the cloak of secrecy surrounding the abrupt and mysterious resignation of Democrat 49th legislative district representative Jim Jacks to the continual support of the boondoggle Columbia River Crossing project, the Columbian continues giving a pass to Democrats and projects favored by them, even though it is continually shown to be of no real benefit to the community or taxpayers who will be stuck the bills for generations to come.

No better example of the “trash and bash” against anybody to the right of Chairman Mao or Vladimir Ilyich Lenin can be seen that the regular Sunday editorials of editorial page editor John Laird.

Do We in Clark County Still Have a Right to Our Money?

Although just a snippet from a much larger video, the question asked by a union activist in Madison, Wisconsin sums up pretty well what seems to be going on, not only in the ongoing crisis in Wisconsin, but here in Vancouver and Clark County as we continue to be railroaded into an overly expensive Columbia River Crossing project and extending Portland, Oregon’s financially failing Loot Rail across state lines into our community.

That voters rejected such a project by a 2 to 1 margin in past votes means nothing as we are reminded time and again that not only do our votes not count, neither do our voices as city council strives to regulate citizen comments to marginalize voices in opposition to Loot Rail and a project the community an ill afford in these economically troubled times.

Completely lacking is a responsible media with real journalism that once exposed such corruption as must be going on in this process, seeing some $140 Million wasted in “studying” the project over the years. Instead, we see a media that is complicit in the corruption in encouraging shutting down the voices of citizens and business owners who see how it is will bankrupt an already struggling middle class.

Are There Any Real Newspaper Editors Any Longer?

You just got to love this old movie scene, taken from the 1939 classic, ‘Jesse James.’ Throughout the movie, the character of Major Rufus Cobb, the grizzled news editor rails on and on against what he sees as unjust, calling upon whatever it is to “take them out and shoot them down like dogs.”

Just a movie line and not anything meant to be taken literal, but it shows a mindset where once upon a time, newspaper editors stood up for the citizens against corrupt, unjust politicians or whoever was trying to take advantage of the citizens.

What made me think of this was an article appearing in the Columbian,

Legislature has clout to OK tolls for light rail
It could do so even if voters defeat proposed C-Tran hike

Columbia River Crossing Fatcats Continue Assault on Citizens

After years and years of endless studies and well over $100 Million in taxpayer money wasted, the likelihood of a wasteful, overly expensive new bridge across the Columbia River, including extending Portland’s Loot Rail into Vancouver, seems to be building to a fever pitch as the fatcats who stand to increase their personal wealth on the backs of struggling taxpayers apparently have lined up the troops to begin attacking through the Columbian those who are concerned with bankrupting our community with this boondoggle.

We see city government falling in line and taking measures to squelch dissent to the project, shortly after Washington State Senator Patty Murray visited Vancouver, leaving behind her instructions to local business and political leaders to get behind the project.

Along with that comes a pledge of the federal government picking up some 11% of the estimated $4 Billion cost, which most likely will increase greatly once these fatcats succeed in shoving this project down our throats, or up another part of our anatomy.

The Columbian, like trained little puppies, seems to have fallen in line, as expected, by publishing article after article on how we must allow this bankrupting of the city and county and opposition should be silenced, or at least shuffled off into a darkened corner where their voices will not be heard.

Beware the “Hounds of Whinerville”

John Laird, Columbian Editorial Page Editor known for his vitriolic tirades against most anybody to the right of Karl Marx has again decided it is time to denigrate taxpaying citizens who wish to exercise their freedom to speak out against wasteful programs that stand to bankrupt the citizens of Clark County.

Laird’s latest screed, Balance arrives at public podiums labels those who speak out at public meetings against the notion of an overly expensive and unproven design for a replacement bridge across the Columbia River as,

“the Hounds of Whinerville are a leashless confederation of contrarians who could also be described as NIMBY (Not In My Back Yard), CAVE (Citizens Against Virtually Everything) and my personal favorite: BANANA (Build Absolutely Nothing Anywhere Near Anything). Make no mistake, their disdain for progress is as vigorous as their contempt for a three-minute timer.” 

The “balance” Laird claims we taxpayers who still believe in citizen rights are up against? Some “members of the Greater Vancouver Chamber of Commerce” supposedly “fed up with all the anti-bridge rhetoric from a small but loud group of grumblers” and under the leadership of a Ms. Kelly Parker, the former Kelly Love who, until recently, was a District Director and Senior Congressional Staffer to retiring Democrat Congressman Brian Baird of Washington State 3rd Congressional District, also a supporter of replacing the aging bridge across the Columbia River that for some unexplained reason, MUST be tolled and include extending the light rail line from Portland, Oregon into Clark County.

Clueless Blue Donkey’s In Clark County

I am always amazed at just how clueless and spiteful Democrats can be. Maybe because for the first half of my life, I was a Democrat, born and raised into a staunchly Democrat household in South Florida.

I’ve watched as they high jacked the Civil Rights movement they so strongly fought against and filibustered in the 1960’s and even how they coerce a Republican President into how necessary tax increases are only to use that tax increase they pushed for as a campaign gimmick against that same Republican President.

I guess it should have come as no surprise to see that same level of cluelessness coming out of the chair of the Clark County Democrat Party, Dena Horton into today’s Columbian.

While Ms. Horton may have a short leg to stand on in complaining about Ann Donnelly’s description of the Blue Jackasses convention (I wasn’t there so I don’t know), her other vitriolic ramblings are remarkably clueless.

Horton brays, “The Columbian is often accused of being a ‘liberal rag’ by the conservatives, which the Clark County Democrats find baffling when The Columbian continues to print columns by conservative columnist Ann Donnelly while offering no alternative view as a counterpoint.”

I am left wondering just how many John Laird’s, Lou Brancaccio’s, Tom Koenninger’s and Kathie Durbin’s must the Columbian publish to equate one Ann Donnelly column every other week in Horton’s world?

Laird runs a weekly column that I have yet to see any pro-conservative stance ever taken. Brancaccio is more even handed, but definitely leans left. Koenninger leans further left and I doubt Kathie Durbin has a kind thought ever towards anything conservative. If so, I can never tell by her writing, especially as she trumped up a controversy last September, Podunk Reporter Creates Issue, Boasts of Resolution.

I saw no “counterpoint” printed in regards to that manufactured controversy and even just last week, John Laird copied it with his vitriol masked as humor, Confessions of a new Republican.

Dena has the audacity to actually state, “We have important elections coming up in 2010 and it does not serve The Columbian’s readership, the general public, or the integrity of the elections process to cause mass confusion about the process by printing inaccurate information.”

Does she really want to go there? Outright lies against President Bush and 8 years of vitriol and demeaning hatred thrown at the man by her party? Does she forget the fraud of the 2004 Washington State Governor’s election?

As far as that “important elections” goes, yes, we are watching Massachusetts very closely too and it isn’t looking all that good for their State jackasses back there right now.

Unbelievably, Horton cries, “Unfortunately, it seems as though not much has changed and our pleas for truth and fairness have fallen on deaf ears.”

Dena dear, you Democrats wouldn’t know “truth and fairness” if your donkey’s tail was bitten. We sat and watched as every sort of hatred and mean-spirited message was sent out against the GOP and President Bush.

We saw as you used the Troops and the very war your party voted to authorize as a campaign tool for political gain.

We watched as your party seized control of Congress with lies, innuendoes, subterfuge and dishonesty straight out of Saul Alinsky’s ‘Rules for Radicals.’

We watched as despicable conduct by a President from your party was excused, just to have you come back later and point fingers at others over similar “immoral” conduct.

I was at the Hilton the evening in November 2008 when a junior senator was propelled into the Presidency by playing the race card and one of your number placed the sign outside the ballroom, “The night America came together.”

None of you have yet to explain why America cannot “come together” unless a group of jackasses controls the country and continues to bankrupt us.

The whiny column written by Blue Donkeys Chair Dena Horton is indicative of spoiled little children who don’t always get their way and throws a tantrum.

If Clark GOP Chair, Ryan Hart, wrote such a column every time a leftist column appeared in the Columbian, he’d have to be on full time employ.

Americans are waking up to the ploy, Dena. I suggest you get used to not having “fair and balanced” being your point of view only!

As a famous Democrat once said, “If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.”

I guess that was back when Democrats cared about more than remaking America into a socialist mecca and carbon copy of the failed Soviet Union.